Put a ring on it? Sigh.

I have so much I want to say about the idea of marriage and primary relationships and commitment, and it’s not going to fit in one post, as much as I keep trying. So I’m going to do my best to keep this post focused.

I interviewed at my school last week, the only Midwest program I applied to, and one of my favorite Doctors really wants me to stay, but did emphasize that it’s my choice how I make my rank list. Still, he said that he discourages anyone from moving for a relationship without a ring.

I feel like I’m stuck in a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. If I don’t get married at all, people will forever worry about me. Why is she devaluing herself? Why is she making these sacrifices for men who don’t/can’t properly commit to her? If I do get married (which would be to Ember, since Catalyst is already married), why am I violating the sanctity of marriage and seeking anything outside of it? How could I even consider having children with someone other than my husband? Why did I bother getting married in the first place?

I wish I knew more people in similar situations. Most poly people I know are married, or are unmarried but not wanting kids. I don’t know anyone that’s thinking about having kids outside of marriage, let alone with someone else who’s married. (Note the word choices I’m using, by the way; we’re still in the very early contemplation stages with this whole kids thing).

And I guess that’s part of why I wanted to start this blog. I wanted there to be representation of something a little different from what I usually see online. =)

By the way, please subscribe! You can either subscribe to my RSS feed, or subscribe to get emails. I’m aiming to post frequent, short posts, and I feel weird advertising every single time I update.

2 thoughts on “Put a ring on it? Sigh.

  1. Myself and bugg are married. CxD wants children very much, I do not. If we ever decide to pursue children it will be by CxD and Bugg. We are already MOSTLY outed, but when (if) that day come it will likely be the rest of the way.

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