So what does prioritizing the group mean? It isn’t sacrificing all our wants and desires for the sake of the group. Ember has an excellent job down in the Bay Area, and it would not make sense for him to quit, or even to transfer to Rainy City just yet; he’s still got a minimum of 6 months to a year left to really round out the experience (he only started working there last December). Prioritizing the group is being more transparent about what everyone’s goals are, and trying to sync our lives as much as we can. It’s about creating a loving, supportive unit of people who help each other fly, not clip each other’s wings just to keep them close.
There will, certainly, be times when we will have to give things up for each other, but sacrifices will never be asked for lightly.
Ember is planning to visit again in October, and this time for a week. We haven’t really fallen into a proper visit routine, ever since I moved out of the Midwest. We’re both used to his visits being all about spending time with just each other, maybe with the occasional social outing together. I now live in a city where he has other friends, and a not-quite-but-sort-of girlfriend, and I don’t think it would be right for me to expect him to only spend time with me, and to have to arrange separate visits to see the other people he knows in Rainy City. I am the only one who contributes toward paying for his plane ticket, but that doesn’t mean that I own his time (even though sometimes I wish it did).
Visiting me now that I live with Catalyst means that time Ember and I spend alone is explicitly time we are not spending with Catalyst. It would be unreasonable to exclude Catalyst from our interactions the entire time Ember is visiting, but it also would be unreasonable for Ember to not get any significant one on one time with me at all. Plus I think we’re going to aim for Catalyst and Ember to spend some one on one time together as well.
This is the first time Ember is visiting for this long, so there’s going to be a lot of talking about his schedule. We’ve had a few hitches in how his shorter visits have gone (entirely due to miscommunication and lack of communication about expectations), so hopefully we’ve learned our lessons and this visit will go much smoother with less ruffling of feathers. :)
In other news, I just wrote this at work. This rotation is amazing! (minus the incredibly tragic patients…)