Not Having It All

I was in LA on Thursday, interviewing once again, and fell in love a little bit. The weather, I’m sure, had a lot to do with it, because everywhere I’d been for the two weeks prior, were cold and rainy and grey. LA? Brilliantly sunny, and even I would say it was warm (though still cool enough to be comfortable in my dreary black suit).  I really liked the program too, I’d be happy to work with and perhaps befriend the other residents, and I loved the program directors.

If I were single, I think there’s a good chance I’d be ranking LA first. I’m sick and tired of winter (I grew up in perpetual summer, and though I’ve been in the US for twelve years, I still resent cold weather), and ever since I went to my oldest brother’s college graduation in California, back in 2002, I’ve had a vague dream of living there.

But I’m not single, and I can’t drag my partners wherever strikes my fancy. Actually, I can’t drag them anywhere. Ember just got a new job and moved to the Bay Area, so he’s stuck for at least another year and a half to two years. And Catalyst, and especially Dreamer, are very settled in the Pacific Northwest. So of my ten options of programs I could match to, come March 15th, only one puts me able to build a life with Catalyst, and two with Ember (except those two are small, though very good, programs that if not for location, I normally would not have even applied to).

I know that in the end, everything’s going to work out somehow. At the very worst, I end up alone again for another two or three years. If I’m really unhappy from the beginning, I could also try to transfer after just my first year. And while I really would like to start working on having kids in about two years, I’ve got nine more years before I hit 35. There’s still time.

What’s getting to me right now is the waiting. Sixty nine more days of wondering where that letter is going to tell me to go.

(Did I explain the Match process, btw? In their last year of medical school, medical students interview for their medical internships/residencies. They make a list of the places they went to, the places make a list of the students they interviewed, a computer matches everyone up, and on Match Day, we all find out the results. It’s a binding contract).

2 thoughts on “Not Having It All

  1. Ahhh I missed you posts. I have been without internet for dayyyyssss.

    I am excited for your match!

    The location thing is difficult. But yes things will work out as they should

    And I love your nicknames. I feel now like mine are lame-o lol

    Much love dear,

    • Haha, I spent ages thinking about these names! I’m happy to hear they’re appreciated. =D I’d been wanting to start a blog for months and months, but not until I had the near-perfect domain name, and the near-perfect pseudonyms!

      I’m glad you survived your internet-less days!

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