Nobody wins in Polyamory

There are no winners or losers in polyamory, at least, there shouldn’t be. Relationships aren’t games.

But it’s hard not to try keeping score. It’s hard not to look at certain situations and identify people who clearly seem to be benefiting more from a relationship than the other participants.

You can take a look at things from my, Ember, or Catalyst’s perspectives, and see ways in which we might seem to have advantages over one or both of the other two, but I don’t know that you can really say who is getting the most benefit out of this relationship. It would be easy to say that I do, given that I have two “primary” partners, but the situation has so many nuances and complexities.

And when one of us suffers, when one of us is feeling like their needs aren’t being met sufficiently, we’re all affected.

Ember recently came and went for a brief weekend visit, and on the last night we had some unexpectedly heavy conversation initiated by Catalyst. I’m left feeling a bit shaken, but the only option that makes sense to me is to keep going on. This year will be full of many important steps for us; lots of test phases that will give us some real information about whether or not this can be sustainable.

Times like this I admit I have trouble explaining why we’re putting ourselves through this, except to say that I still believe that it has so much potential to go very well for all three of us.

2 thoughts on “Nobody wins in Polyamory

  1. Hello,

    A new website has hit the virtual airways, offering convenience of communication and ease of connections for poly-minded or poly curious individuals looking to connect with others of similar mindsets.

    NOT a dating website, PolyamoryNetwork.com allows people to talk about their lifestyle, their hopes, dreams and aspirations in a safe and friendly environment quickly growing in numbers.

    The website is highly recommended by the editor of Love Multiplied for those seeking to expand their poly circles.

    The network is FREE to use, but you need to sign up in order to use the network. This means that non-member visitors can not access the member area and read the content.

    This decision was made to keep the network more private. Non-members can only access our welcome page, which has sign-up and sign-in buttons and a short description of the network.

    Furthermore, the network itself is protected by an SSL certificate in order to protect the users’ personal log-in information etc.

    The new network can be found here:
    http://www.polyamorynetwork.com

    All the best
    Jens Christensen

  2. Pingback: 205 Days Later - Not Just Happenstance

Leave a Reply