My Loves

Further background information:

Ember and Catalyst, my loves, my best friends, and two of the biggest reasons why my life is very complicated right now.

Ember and I met in college, and have been together for going on six years now. He was my first real relationship, and we connected quickly and deeply. We talk about any and everything, and neither of us have ever been this close to someone for anywhere near this long. We’ve been in a long distance relationship since the Fall of 2009.

Catalyst and I have been together for a year and half. He’s married, and has been with his wife (hereafter known as Dreamer) for eight or nine years I think. I never thought I’d meet someone else I connected with as deeply and as well as I do with Ember, and then along came Catalyst…. We’ve been in a long distance relationship from the beginning. He lived in the same city as Ember, but just this month Ember moved to another city.

I love the two of them fiercely, and my feelings are of a similar nature and potential depth. I want to use the word equal to describe how I feel about them, but I don’t think you can really quantify love and therefore you can’t use a word like equal. My dream would be for the four of us to live together and raise children together, but there’s a lot of complications in the way of that happening.

All I really wanted out of life was a satisfying career (getting there! I think I’m going to be very happy with my chosen medical specialty), at least one committed, long term partner, a kid or two, and some pets. A quiet, simple, cozy home and life. I’m aware that I’m going a very unconventional and convoluted route to get there, but I’m very content with what I’ve got going right now, and optimistic that the future is going to work out.

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