Moving Forward

Today I leave the Midwest for Rainy City. I’ll be back in a month for my graduation, and to finish packing up my apartment (really, to finish getting rid of stuff, mainly kitchenware; most of the things I’m keeping are already packed), but in a way, this is it.

There are a lot of heavy thoughts on my mind. Coming out to my parents is the big one. It’s not going to go well, but I can’t live like this indefinitely.

I hate that my parents think of Ember as a guy who’s just been stringing me along, not making an honest woman out of my by marrying me. He is my first true best friend and my first true love, and even if he never becomes my husband, even if someday he becomes someone else’s husband or the father to someone else’s children, the bond we have is strong and deep and we know each other so well.

I also hate that my parents have no idea how much Catalyst means to me. We have not had as much time together as Ember and I have, have not spent six years influencing our growth into the people we are now. But the people we are met two years ago, and we clicked in a way we never expected. We see in each other a life partner, someone we can build a life with together in a way that is mutually fulfilling and satisfying.

So today I take another step forward, going to Rainy City and beginning my search for somewhere to live with Catalyst and Dreamer. Someday in the future, maybe in the late summer, maybe in the fall, maybe later, I take a different step, and come out to my mother.

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