Short post. It’s late and I should have been in bed 45 minutes ago.
I’m not very good at being open and honest about the poly thing, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve had several experiences lately where there weren’t any clear ramifications to coming out, and yet I still found myself dancing around the exact details of my relationship situation, or outright avoiding the details and explicitly only talking about one boyfriend.
I have a lot of thinking to do about how much hiding is okay in my life. How open do I need to be able to be about my personal life? Do I need to push the boundary of what I’m okay talking about (and the reactions I’m okay receiving), or do I need to change my life to match what I’m comfortable with? I’ve been making decisions under the former, but every now and then there’s a tiny part of me that worries that social pressure and my desire to fit in will break me as I am.
The real question is, how do I reassure that tiny part of me? Because I love my boys and I’m hanging on to them.